The self-made man (or woman). There’s no such thing.
I was reading an article about a billionaire fashion mogul who was described as self-made, and it got me thinking.
Why are we enamored by that thought? Why do we elevate those who supposedly made it up the mountain alone (even though they didn’t)?
I know what you’re thinking. Why do I say they didn’t?
Because no one makes anything alone. Behind every success, there are others. Family members give time and money. Friends, teachers, and mentors provide a wide range of resources and support. Various businesses or artisans provide goods and services. The list goes on.
As early as the 17th century, John Donne knew it…
No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.
While we may like the idea of the lone hero who can do it all, it’s just not real … or practical.
Humans may be able to outthink most of our fellow animal partners on the planet, but we certainly cannot outrun, outsize, or outdo them in terms of strength. To do any of that, we need help.
If our ancient ancestors had relied on the individual hero to come along when encountering the saber-toothed tiger, our species would have never survived.
Instead, we banded together. We worked together. We helped each other. Cooperation is our superpower … and we should revel in that. We should celebrate it and seize the opportunity it gives us to do great things and solve our most pressing issues.
Gates, Musk, Jobs, and Bezos all had help. Not one is “self-made.” All got money, or had spousal support, or had a quiet partner, or had any number of other people who worked in the shadows to propel the vision forward.
The moral here is this: going alone to be great may sound amazing, but it’s a myth, so go together with others and do something great instead. That’s real.
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When this would come up, my dad (in agreement) would add as follows. “They didn’t build the roads, the water and sewer, the electrical grid, the schools they went to, government, banking, the language they speak, writing, or pretty much anything we rely on to live and work.”
Neal,
I couldn’t agree more. I’ve always been skeptical of the term “self-made,” particularly because it so often seems to be a label people proudly apply to themselves. There’s an element of ego in that declaration that conveniently overlooks all of the people, circumstances, opportunities, and acts of support that helped make the journey possible.
Certainly, individuals deserve credit for their hard work, persistence, creativity, and willingness to take risks. But none of us operates in a vacuum. Someone taught us. Someone encouraged us. Someone opened a door, bought what we were selling, gave us a chance, challenged our thinking, introduced us to someone else, tolerated our mistakes, or simply stood beside us when things weren’t going particularly well.
I can look back over my own life and point to accomplishments I’m proud of, but I would never call myself self-made. There are fingerprints all over anything worthwhile I’ve accomplished, and I suspect that is true for virtually everyone.
Perhaps the greater accomplishment isn’t being able to say, “I did this myself,” but having the humility to look around and say, “Look at all the people who helped make this possible.”
I’ll take interconnected over self-made every time.
There’s no such thing as a self-made man or woman ! Think of the social support systems and freedoms we enjoy – the educational and healthcare facilities – and so much more.